Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
