This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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