i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine