I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.