you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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