Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.