Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises

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  (617): Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises http://tfl.nu/cep7
  Replies (4) Good night (1177) Bad night (645)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"

  (541): View more from Oregon

  dude.

  (503): View more from Oregon

  yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.

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  (503): this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor" (541): dude. (503): yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating. http://tfl.nu/t5uc
  Replies (21) Good night (929) Bad night (3924)
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  (516): View more from New York

  i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.

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  (516): i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles. http://tfl.nu/x8s9
  Replies (15) Good night (7070) Bad night (790)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Fuck now we have to have sex

  (1-203): View more from Connecticut

  What?

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  In a bet, need to win

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  (203): Fuck now we have to have sex (1-203): What? (203): In a bet, need to win http://tfl.nu/ejzn
  Replies (20) Good night (5578) Bad night (1295)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.

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  (702): We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside. http://tfl.nu/zfn8
  Replies (2) Good night (963) Bad night (2718)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is

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  (480): he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is http://tfl.nu/i6zj
  Replies (13) Good night (2884) Bad night (1736)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.

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  (785): I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well. http://tfl.nu/l51l
  Replies (3) Good night (5886) Bad night (941)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.

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  (314): She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good. http://tfl.nu/atnn
  Replies (2) Good night (2651) Bad night (909)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.

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  (302): Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one. http://tfl.nu/7sz8
  Replies (9) Good night (2401) Bad night (831)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.

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  (+61): It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys. http://tfl.nu/j3cl
  Replies (8) Good night (704) Bad night (1971)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.

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  (970): I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation. http://tfl.nu/iw3q
  Replies (6) Good night (2032) Bad night (672)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.

  (330): View more from Ohio

  She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.

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  (330): Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything. (330): She kept telling me it was a squirtgun. http://tfl.nu/3tf4
  Replies (3) Good night (559) Bad night (1212)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.

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  (312): He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning. http://tfl.nu/pfuk
  Replies (6) Good night (1612) Bad night (466)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances

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  (619): yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances http://tfl.nu/p8ta
  Replies (2) Good night (642) Bad night (426)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard

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  (858): The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard http://tfl.nu/h8fj
  Replies (2) Good night (256) Bad night (149)

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