my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.