he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
