They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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