I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
