I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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