i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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