Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
