Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
