If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
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