I want to walk on stilts...naked
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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