also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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