It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
