I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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