ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
