these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
