So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
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