the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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