He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
