he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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