scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
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