Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
