Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
