He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
