She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
