Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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