Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Pooping to opera.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
