Me. At least after what I've been through.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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