Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
