Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
