Whod you bang
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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