Having a random hookup so left but love u
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
