Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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