i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
