Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
