I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
