Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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