Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
