Screwed.edu
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize