Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I understand Curling. That high.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
