This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
