I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
