New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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