She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
