So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
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The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
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This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'm like, not good at living.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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