Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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