my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
