Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
