thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
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