Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
