I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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