STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
This baby is an asshole
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
