Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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