Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Randomize
