you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
