The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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