I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
