Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
