BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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