there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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