shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
